This is where compromise and gentle startups replace criticism and contempt. Building the Foundation The lower levels of the house focus on fundamental skills that prevent deterioration.
John Gottman Avoiding Criticism with Effective Communication Strategies
Sharing Fondness and Admiration requires maintaining a perspective that focuses on the positive attributes of your partner, rather than nitpicking flaws. The goal is not to create perfect relationships, but resilient ones capable of withstanding inevitable conflict.
Contempt is considered the most dangerous of the four, as it involves actions or words that mock or insult the partner, conveying a sense of superiority. The Upper Structure Above the foundation lie the more complex aspects of partnership.
John Gottman Avoiding Criticism with Effective Communication Strategies
Over time, the frequency and quality of these small responses predict the trajectory of the relationship more accurately than grand gestures. Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling Criticism attacks the character of a partner, as opposed to addressing a specific behavior, often using phrases like "You always.
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